Original 1:

On the EA website it states, “Talented people can have a greater impact by working directly in important problems than by donating,” and to me this is hit a realization point and it is so true.

Revised 1:

In contrast to Southans beliefs of art the EA believes donating and/or time is a better way to spend ones life.The EA website states, “Talented people can have a greater impact by working directly on important problems than by donating” (cite) and I believe this is so true and they make a very convincing argument.  

Original 2:

In Southans article, he quotes Peter Singer when he says, “If you accept the shallow-pond analogy, everyone is horrific,” if you accept this then you’re shallow.

 Revised 2:

In Southans article, he quotes Peter Singer pond analogy when he says, “If you accept the shallow-pond analogy, everyone is horrific” (cite) to ponder the question of one’s ethical duties in addition to the EAs beliefs in regards to whether or not you would jump in a lake to save a little girl that you didn’t push in. Accept this, and what have we succumbed to?  

Part 2:

These brazilian people and places, favelas, were assumed to be “unwelcoming, dangerous, ugly places,” the main host Raz claimed that, “And what you were trying to do is to change that perception by actually sort of overlaying this beautiful piece of artwork over the favela.” People started to notice the artwork and realized that the residents were being looked at as artists and not criminals. Jeroen and Urhahn noticed that they need to build up this energy and put more work around Rio, so they did.

Part 2 fixed:

These brazilian people and places, favelas, were assumed to be “unwelcoming, dangerous, ugly places”(cite) and these artists wanted to change that perception. Jeroen and Urhahn took this idea and built up energy to put more work around Rio.