Gender Violence
I think many women stay with a violent, intimate partner because they do not know better. In one’s own mind, it is what they perceive as love. Some women think it is love even after their perpetrator apologizes. After many accounts, the perpetrator says they will change and the women will believe them. If the relationship involves children, the situation can get tricky. One article wrote, “These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety: “I was afraid if he wasn’t beating me he would beat his kids. And I valued their lives more than my own.” And, “I stayed for 20 years while I protected our children, all while I was being abused.” Others mentioned staying to benefit the children: “I wanted my son to have a father.”
However, I believe that many women stay with a violent, intimate partner because they do not have any other resources to go to. Their violent partners are the only person in their lives that they can rely on emotionally and financially. Some women may feel as if they may not even have a resource to go to. When it comes to verbal abuse, the perpetrator may say phrases that can make a woman fearful to leave the home or talk to someone. Through an article I found written by Jason Whiting, he explains, “Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. Perpetrators harass and accuse victims, which wears them down and causes despair and guilt. For example, women shared: “I believed I deserved it,” and, “I was ashamed, embarrassed, and blamed myself because I thought I triggered him.” Others minimized the abuse as a way to cope with it, saying: “[I stayed] because I didn’t think that emotional and financial abuse was really abuse. Because words don’t leave bruises,’’ and, “Because I didn’t know what my boyfriend did to me was rape.”
A link to the article I cited in this writing: https://ifstudies.org/blog/eight-reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships
