Before Intro:

The form of art is introduced to people at a young age. Overtime, we as people come to realize that art is everywhere and comes in all different forms. Throughout schooling, art is usually a required course and as students get older they question if it is actually important or not. Students just go through the motions and learn different styles and skills of art and find out what like like and don’t like to do, but it isn’t thought out in deep consideration.  So is art important or is it a waste of time? Rhys Southan would argue that life is unlivable without art, whereas, the Effective Altruism Movement (EA) would argue that it is a waste of time and people should be focusing on world problems like suffering. This world is a big place, with different people, with many different opinions. As for me, I had originally thought art was a waste of time, but with consideration after looking and reading into it, I learned that art is in fact, essential. Its essential for us as human beings to grow and learn whether we realize it or not. If you go to dictionary.com the definition of art is, “the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance,” or “the class of objects subject to aesthetic criteria; works of art collectively, as paintings, sculptures, or drawings: a museum of art; an art collection.” Art has many paths and it’s all up to the “artist” to create where they want to take their imagination and thought and perspectives.

 

After Intro:

Art is introduced to people at a young age. Overtime, we as people come to realize that art is everywhere and comes in all different forms. Throughout schooling, art is usually a required course and as students get older they question if it is actually important or not. Students go through the motions and learn different styles and skills of art, attempting to find out what they do and do not like to do, but typically make the decision without deep consideration.  In my own personal experience, growing up and having art classes in school, we went through units. We learned techniques of texture and color. We went through weeks of painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, printmaking, and video. We had the opportunity to get a ‘taste’ of what each type of art is about. While going through the units I came to realize that I enjoyed the aspect of drawing. When I felt more passionate, my work came out better. I also realized that I didn’t enjoy painting that much as I would always get frustrated when I had to mix colors. Any day that I had to paint, I wasn’t as excited as I would be if I was drawing a portrait of my favorite actress.  So is art important or is it a waste of time?

Rhys Southan would argue that life is unlivable without art, whereas, the Effective Altruism Movement (EA) would argue that it is a waste of time and people should be focusing on world problems like suffering, where people are struggling in their daily lives. This world is a big place, with different people, with many different opinions. As for me, I had originally thought art was a waste of time, but with consideration after looking and reading into it, I learned that art is essential because it allows human beings to grow and learn whether we realize it or not. If you go to dictionary.com the definition of art is, “the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance,” or “the class of objects subject to aesthetic criteria; works of art collectively, as paintings, sculptures, or drawings: a museum of art; an art collection.” Art has many paths and it’s all up to the “artist” where they take their creativity. When artists express themselves, it can bring out any emotion for a person who looks at their work. It can bring them happiness, hope, and a new outlook on life.

 

Before Body:

On the EA website it states, “Talented people can have a greater impact by working directly in important problems than by donating,” and to me this is hit a realization point and it is so true. Even though people may be donating to help a cause, which is crucial, it is not as crucial as helping out hands on and learning and discovering how to cure a disease. Also, on the website was, “Issues that are salient to us are probably also salient to others like us, so it’s likely there will be lots of other people working on those issues. This might mean that our additional efforts have even less impact. So going with whichever cause we’re first drawn to seems like a bad strategy.” I understand that it is satisfying if the work is put into deep thought and energized into the right ‘cause’. Research has to be done beforehand.

 

After Body:

On the EA website it states, “Talented people can have a greater impact by working directly in important problems than by donating,” and to me this is hit a realization point and it is so true. Even though people may be donating to help a cause, which is crucial, it is not as crucial as helping out hands on and learning and discovering how to cure a disease. To the EA hands on work gets more done than just by handing over money. The EA are also, “more interested in how we could use art to reduce the suffering of humans, animals, and future beings.” If we put more emphasis on using art to express feeling and ways of life, society would be more apt to include everybody. We can learn that by using art to express people’s emotions, we then can open our eyes to understand more clearly, that we are all the same on some level. We can learn that art is capable of being used in more than one way. Instead of being used for just personal enjoyment, it can be used to to give others happiness and memories.

 

A change that I made was to my introduction paragraph. I fixed peer edits and reworded a couple of my sentences to make them sound better and stronger. I also split my introduction paragraph into two because it was too long and flowed better as two separate paragraphs instead of one. Especially since the two paragraphs have two different ideas, even though they are connected.  A change to my body paragraph was practically rewriting it. It was messy, it didn’t make too much sense, and didn’t support the claims I was making earlier in my essay. I kept the beginning part of the essay and made a whole new counter argument to what the EA says. Referencing the W-4, I looked towards the W-4d: When to Start a New Paragraph and W-4b: Strategies for Developing the Main Point.